Remarraige

I am very thankful for great research when it comes to divorce and remarriage. Both can be hard on everyone in the family. My husband grew up with his parents divorcing when he was 7 years old. He saw everything a child shouldn't with parents fighting and talking badly about each other. Sadly, too, he hold many trust issues do to many of the things his parents did. Thanks to people along the way, he as able to get help. The family is so important, especially when it has been damaged and changes have arose. But, thankfully, remarriage can be a wonderful thing! One thing i learned from class discussion was the importance of keeping the children in mind when there has been remarriage. The biological parent should be the parent who disciplines, while the new parent becomes well associated with the children by building trust and friendship, like an awesome aunt or uncle would. Remarriage is truly be a great thing when taken seriously and done thoughtfully.

Be Active

Parenting is a sacred responsibility. It is very important to parent in an appropriate and loving way. The best is to be an Active parent. It is important to be able to understand our children. Something very crucial is to learn about each of our children individually and parent according to their needs. Each child is different. An Active parent is involved in their children's lives, but also allows them to use their agency to make choices. This is how my parents were when they raised me and I am so thankful for them. I was able to make choices, but still go to them if i needed help. One thing that was really important to me was that I knew I was loved, no matter what. This is important. I want to be an Active parent and love my children unconditionally.

Motherhood: sacrificing for something greater

We read an article entitled Does a Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop? It was a very interesting article. I am grateful for motherhood and the blessing that come from this role. Here are my thought of this article. I have heard this phrase before this article. It was shocking to hear. I guess in a way some women can see motherhood as such, and so they don't create a family. Sadly, these women see the world differently. Being a mother doesn't degrade the education we get and it definitely doesn't cause us to forget what we have learned. Some women feel that once they are a mother their education will go to waste. What a silly thought. We continue to use our education even as a mother. Our brains don't go to mush. In fact, we use our education. We can use out education and teach our children. Mothers with an education are more involved with their children's lives and teach them more. As mothers with degrees, we can educate our children everyday. We can be an example of getting an education and blessing our family with it. Motherhood and education go hand in hand. We don't lose by sacrificing more education of perhaps and incredible job, but gain something much greater with more purpose by choosing motherhood and teaching within the home. 

Counsel

This week was about counseling. And it was an answer to prayer. I learned how to council with my husband and with the Lord. I also learned how to counsel with my husband while doing it with the Lord. I learned that I need to include the Lord with our thoughts and decisions and that we come to a decision after we have conversed with the Lord. It is also very important to have the Spirit with me at all times. I need to be worthy of the Spirit so that we as a couple can always do the right thing as we counsel with the Lord.

Gratitude to Those Who Care

I am grateful for people who truly care about the family and see the importance of this unit. We talked about a researcher Cloe. She created a way of truly helping others through repentance and reparation. Her processes is so wonderful. This post is more about my appreciation for those who care. I am grateful she was able to see the need and create this important process for those truly hurting. It is never about just changing the behavior. It is about changing the heart and focusing on becoming and not being. I am thankful for those who care.

Talk Talk Talk

It is crucial to talk and be open with our children. I learned that we can talk to them at ages 3, 6, 9, 12, 15 and 18 about sexuality. The key is teaching them in a way that is appropriate to their age. I know this can be done. It is sad that we need to talk to our kids at such a young age about sex, but if we do not they will find out about it from someone else. By talking to our children we open a window of respect and comfort in that they can come and talk to us about anything. It is so important to have this window and to open it. I am very appreciative of my parents for doing this. I know that it is a very helpful tool.

Prepare to Prevent

Having children can hurt a the relationship of the husband and wife, if they do not prepare. I didn't realize that this can happen to any couple. Which means, it could happen to me. But, thanks to this class, I am going to make sure it doesn't! It is easy to neglect each other and even get after each other when the first baby comes due to stress, fatigue, misunderstandings, lack of affection being expressed, ect. But this can be prevented!!! It's important to have the dad involved at the start of the pregnancy and throughout. Also, if couples are aware of what can happen after the baby comes they can plan for it. They can create a baby plan and have helpers come, like a mom. Being prepared is what is most important.

Be A Part of Their Lives

We talked a lot about homosexuality this week. I learned a lot about research on this issue. From everything we talked about it is very important to protect my children. As a parent I need to make sure I know where my children are and what they are doing. I also need to make sure that as a mother, my husband and I need to express unconditional love to each child. Love will help shape our child into great people. We also need to teach the importance of sexuality and the sacredness of our gender and who we are. We also need to talk about how the media portrays things so that they know what is right and what is wrong and can come to us when they have any questions or confusions about things.

Labeling and Creating

A childs mind, when little, is developing more than ever. These are crucial times in for them as their brain is developing and they are learning more about their surroundings and themselves. From class this week I realized how quickly a child can be primed during thi stage of development. This priming can be a very good thing, but it can also be a very bad thing. I want to talk about the bad side of this stage of development. While a child is growing, if he is referred to in a negtive way through name calling,  teasing, ect he is going to think that he is those things. All children grow up differently. Some grow faster and some slower. Others tend to be more sensitive as they develop and others not so much. Not matter the difference they are each a special, child of God. And we must be careful with how wer treat each child, even if they seem to be a little different than us. A child needs to know they are loved and accepted. If not, studies have proven that children to grow up to believe what everyone has been telling them about themselve. For example, research has shown that little children who are labeld as being gay most often will grow up to think that that is what they are. Which is not the case. It is amazing how one diminishing word echoed by any and placed upon one person can dictate who that child will be for the rest of their life. Let us all remember the impact we have on others and especially on our children that we can be the example that stops this labeling and creating of certain people.

A Family Provides

Just a few things a family provides:
structure and stability
ability to socialize and be comfortable doing so
establishes expectations, hopes, goals
offers love and support, nurture and protection
imparts or influences values
financial support

Each of these are very important. One that I really care about has to do with creating structure and stability. Often parents think that if they give their children structure in the home, they will hate their childhood. like structure is condemning them. This is not true. Research has shown that children who do not have structure in the home desire it and children who do have it in the home thrive. It is important for a child to know when dinner time is, bed time is, family time is. They do not have adult brains. They cannot create, very well, structure for themselves, especially when they should be learning it and not creating it themselves.

Good Source of Needs

I liked a quote we talked about in class this week: "You can never get enough of what you need through a source you don't need." Now, how can we relate this to the family? What if we changed the quote around to something like, "You can never give enough of what they need through a source not good for them." This quote from class made me think about how important it is to be good parents. We are the leaders and teachers of these children. If we are parents who don't care about our children and their needs, how are we suppose to give them what they need? We need to be good parents so that our children can have what they deserve.

Family Systems Theory

   The family is a unit that, when quickly thought of, becomes something general that everyone has. But, from what I have learned this week, there are no "general" families. Each are unique, rules and systems they live by that are either making or breaking the family. But no family is just general. There is a theory about the family. It sees this unit as a whole. Everyone works off of each other and affects one another. It is called Family Systems Theory. Through roles obtained, gifted to, or placed upon (without a choice) and rules within the family, the family unit functions. We all have family rules that we live by. Most are the unspoken rules that everyone just seems to know, like no one can disrespect mom and if they do all dad has to do is look at them in a certain way. Within this system everyone affects everyone. And the problem isn't the obvious "problem" child, it's deeper than that. The problem child just shows that there is a problem within the family. He's more like the tattle-tail.  This system works circular; everyone feeds into everyone. I love this theory because I believe that no matter the issue, it is affecting each member of the family. And until that issue is found and dissolved the family will continue to suffer. All families really need is a little education on the family unit and it's processes. This is what I hope to get out of this class. I want to learn more about family processes within a family unit so that my family can be better able to communicate and understand one another. I want to have a family with clear boundaries.

Learn Now To Be the Teachers Later

Here's the deal... the family is under attack. It has been and will always be, I believe. From class discussion, this week, we read and learned about the disintegration of the family as a whole. This processes is occurring in many different ways.  It is being attacked through having premarital sex, a decrease in birth rate, decrease in fertility rate, choosing to marrying later in life, mothers going back to work during crucial stages of a childs life, cohbitating, ect. The statistics are unreal! It blows my mind. There are a number of causes as to why the family is literally disolving at this time of our lives; right infront of us; at our finger tips. Can you see it? It's everywhere. Television, Movies, Music, Magazines. I have learned how much I need to safe guard my family. But, more importantly, prepare myself now for them later. It is up to me and my husband to keep our family solid and strong. Something neat, as I learn about protecting the family, my family, I can also teach others! We can all teach other families of the importance of the family. I believe it is our obligation to do so. I have realized that as I desire to gain more knowledge about the family, and how to protect them through learning about being a better parent, that the Lord blesses. We are blessed for righteous choices. And wanting to learn how to defend the family is a great choice! and He will bless us for that! Yes, we are learners now, BUT soon we will be the teachers. And I want to have a great knowledge of the family to teach others. I learned a lot this week. Most were from insights I had from other peoples comments and pondering afterwards. I am excited to learn more!

The Foundation

THE FAMILY: 

A PROCLAMATION 

TO 

THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of theChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before Go d for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

My Purpose

    My deepest desire is to raise a righteous family. I know that I can do this, but not on my own. I have created this blog to help myself, and others, learn the importance of the family and apply it into our lives. This institution is divine.  I believe it to be ordained of God. There is no other institution of greater importance. We have an obligation to uphold the family, our families!